Tom Diaz

Posts Tagged ‘Trump’

простите…er…I Mean, Pardon Me

In Corruption, Crime, Cronatos Hybamper, Ethics in Washington, Piracy, Political Satire, politics, Presidential Pardons, Russia, The Great Stupid, Transnational crime, Trump on July 21, 2017 at 4:00 pm

Goofy Trump copy

“I know what you’re getting at. Now, the plain fact is that I can’t just flat out order the FBI to drop this leak thing. They wouldn’t stop even if I asked them to. Such a request might seem an easy thing to do, but it would be the wrong thing to do. We in the White House must respect in thought, word, and deed the FBI’s independence as the first among all federal law enforcement agencies.”

Attorney General Charles-Bates nodded in agreement.

“So, instead of making such a request,” the President continued, “I am issuing a blanket pardon. White House Counsel has drawn it up and I have signed it. It provides that anyone who might have in any way been otherwise guilty of any crime related to the leaking of the Black Pearl directive is off the hook, so to speak in lay terms. There is therefore nothing left for the FBI to investigate. I am sure the Director won’t want to waste valuable time or tax dollars sniffing down a dead end.”

 

President Roger Wilson Lane

From Cronatos Hybamper –An Extraordinary Incident by Tom Diaz

I know. It’s tedious. I anticipated and wrote about virtually every hair-brained, self-serving grift the news is exploding with today. Yep, there is even a Presidential pardon scene.

The thing that amazes me and my tens of thousands…ummm…okay, score or so…of followers is how uncanny it is that I wrote Cronatos Hybamper before the preening, vacuous buffoon strutting around the White House today was even elected. And, to my credit, my fictional grifter never made it into the Oval Office. (Read the book to find out why.)

But Washington was, is, and always will be Crazy Town. So, no sooner do I write some unbelievable blather about pardons, and it appears in the news (fake, real, and in between) without missing a beat:

Trump has asked his advisers about his power to pardon aides, family members and even himself in connection with the probe, according to one of those people. A second person said Trump’s lawyers have been discussing the president’s pardoning powers among themselves.

James Hohmann,“The Daily 202: Asking about a pardon for himself is a quintessentially Trumpian move,” The Washington Post, July 21, 2017.

Sail on, O Pirate Ship of State!

Pirate ship

To catch up with the innermost in-crowd:

https://read.amazon.com/kp/card?asin=B01MT0JMCM&preview=inline&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_6tXvyb1HWXMPQ

 

 

Black Holes Matter—But Grey Holes? Pseudo-Black Holes?

In Cronatos Hybamper, Political Satire on December 25, 2016 at 12:08 am

black-hole-flare

He stopped for a moment.

 “Now, Mr. President, Earth seems to be in the grip of a third phenomenon, what some of my colleagues call a grey hole, others a pseudo-black hole, and some a quasi-singularity.”

 President Lane shook his head. At least, he thought, my crotch doesn’t itch.

 “Holy crap!” he said at last. “What do we do?”

 “Mr. President, we seem to have only one choice,” Quin Rivera said.

From Cronatos Hybamper –An Extraordinary Incident by Tom Diaz

President Roger Wilson Lane was having a bad day. The aggravated jock itch he woke up with was bad enough.

Now…this.

 

WAIT…THIS PLOT IS TOO CRAZY. WOULD THE RUSSIANS REALLY TRY TO TAMPER WITH AN AMERICAN ELECTION? GET REAL!

In Corruption, Cronatos Hybamper, Ethics in Washington, Intelligence and Counter-Intelligence, Political Satire, politics, Putin, Russia, Russian Active Measures, Russian Intelligence Operations, Transnational crime, Trump on December 21, 2016 at 5:08 pm

ct-russia-trump-putin-obama-bush-moscow-kremlin-edit-1213-jm-20161212

President Roger Wilson Lane was hurtled into his high office by a shocking, tragic twist of fate.

Only hours before the dawn of Inauguration Day, a terrorist’s bomb…murdered the President-elect, his wife, and a fair number of functionaries, auxiliaries, hangers-on, media stars, waitpersons, passersby, and other ordinary innocents…

Blame for the gruesome bombing was officially laid on the Chechnyan splinter of an obscure Islamist extremist organization—the Ansar ibn Muqadimmah—that had hitherto been most active in the Northern Caucasus, on the southwestern periphery of Russia…

Within moments of the official finding’s release to the public, President Alexander Arkadyavitch Gribov was on the phone to President Lane, proposing an immediate alliance to combat the scourge of Ansar ibn Muqadimmah specifically, and more generally “radical Islam,” “Jihadism,” or whatever term with which one might prefer to label the wider threat. Lane…was surprisingly tepid to the proposal.

The Russians had never in their wildest imaginings expected this unenthusiastic reception. Lane’s dawdling demurral threw a serious wrench into the gears of their strategic machinations. They had vigorously if surreptitiously backed [the late President-elect] Del Fuller for the simple reason that they were quite sure that he would be enthusiastic about their plan to carve the world up into two, or perhaps three at most, old-fashioned 19th century-style spheres of influence. A discreet exchange of signals between the Fuller campaign and Gribov’s court confirmed the Russian expectations. To seal the deal, Gribov’s operatives quietly salted a few Swiss numbered accounts among two or three key players in the Fuller campaign menagerie. The fix was firmly in.

 From Cronatos Hybamper—An Extraordinary Incident

By Tom Diaz

Hmm. What the hell was I thinking when I wrote that into my novel months before the 2016 election? I mean,  would the perfidious Russkies really try to fool around with our election? That’s a bit far-fetched, isn’t it?

It’s just a novel. Fiction. Right?

But.

But, then, there are the discussions of “Russian Influence” in the Real News. Not fiction. For example, there’s this story by Adam Entous and Ellen Nakashima in The Washington Post on December 16, 2016:

FBI in agreement with CIA that Russia aimed to help Trump win White House

FBI Director James B. Comey and Director of National Intelligence James R. Clapper Jr. are in agreement with a CIA assessment that Russia intervened in the 2016 election in part to help Donald Trump win the White House, officials disclosed Friday, as President Obama issued a public warning to Moscow that it could face retaliation.

New revelations about Comey’s position could put to rest suggestions by some lawmakers that the CIA and the FBI weren’t on the same page on Russian President Vladi­mir Putin’s intentions.

And, then there is this troubling observation from former CIA Acting Director Michael Morell in an interview with The Cipher Brief:

 “…we need to see this for what it is.  It is an attack on our very democracy.  It’s an attack on who we are as a people.   A foreign government messing around in our elections is, I think, an existential threat to our way of life.  To me, and this is to me not an overstatement, this is the political equivalent of 9/11.  It is huge and the fact that it hasn’t gotten more attention from the Obama Administration, Congress, and the mainstream media, is just shocking to me.”

I don’t know. You tell me. Is Cronatos Hybamper ahead of the curve? Are the Russians really attacking our democracy, just like in that novel, that fiction, Cronatos Hybamper?

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